Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
ttyl tear gas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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