I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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