I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
