so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I love you.
Bad choice
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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