Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
