Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
