Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
