just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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