Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never underestimate the power of titties
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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