yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Enjoy the penises
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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