you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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