I'm jealous of your bromance
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
