it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize