Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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