I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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