I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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