Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
