i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
