I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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