We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize