I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
