it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
