Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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