And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nicole vs. Life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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