try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
