I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
