I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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