I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
