I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
