May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize