Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
