Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My pussy is not your playground.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
