i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My bed is full of blood and feathers
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
