I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
