My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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