It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
