Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
