You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize