I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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