I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
