summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
