summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
