she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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