I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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