Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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