I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
