He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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