I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
