Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
