What a fucking waste of an outfit
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
