I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
