Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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