We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
