You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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