shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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