Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
