i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
