Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just invented taco cereal.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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