i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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