who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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