I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Text me some of your sweat
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