No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
