Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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