my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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