Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
