Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
