Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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