So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
