It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
honey bunches of taint.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
