hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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