Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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