that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
