careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
