We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
