get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
