Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
