Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
