let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
His nipple licking is glorious
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