I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
