Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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