Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
