my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
